The Rob Ford Show

The Rob Ford Show
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Rare is the day when a Canadian political scandal makes international news. In fact, never is the day when a Canadian political scandal makes international news. Rob Ford is a pioneer!

Mr. Ford is of course the Tea Party-style populist mayor of Toronto, who’s also the biggest tabloid star in the world right now thanks to Gawker’s recent (alleged) discovery of a video of him smoking crack cocaine. The film, which has also been viewed by two journalists from the Toronto Star, Canada’s largest-circulation daily, is currently in the hands of a couple of inner-city Somali-Canadian drug dealers, who Gawker editor John Cook has been trying to pay off for the last week or so. His “crackstarter” pledge drive recently passed the druggies’ $200,000 ask, but alas, Cook seems to have lost contact with them. C’mon guys, don’t be like this, I’m ready to make a deal, says Cook.

Obviously a lot of light-hearted merriment has been had at the embattled mayor’s expense over all of this, in part because Ford is a strange-looking, eccentric buffoon who’s easy to point and laugh at (especially when giving sweaty, strangely-worded non-denial denial press conferences), and in part because there’s always been a considerable portion of the Toronto politico-media establishment that’s loathed the guy for his right-wing politics and prayed for his downfall.

Yet the fundamentals of this story are hardly a laughing matter. The mayor of Canada’s largest city may very well be an addict of one of the most vicious and destabilizing hard drugs available. His addiction may be helping finance murders, both here and abroad. It’s been suggested that one of Ford’s underworld associates was Anthony Smith, who was recently murdered in a gang shooting, and although details on this story are hazy and contradictory, apparently the Toronto Police are currently seeking the crack video as part of some manner of possible homicide investigation. This is the dirty world substance abuse takes you.

Mayor Ford has very obviously lost his moral authority to govern, and with staffers ditching ship left and right, he may soon lose his literal ability to govern, too. It’s a monstrous, slow-motion car crash. But we should be very clear that the whole thing is a tragedy, not a farce.


If you or someone you know is suffering from a drug addiction, follow this link for help locating drug addiction treatment centers.


  1. Dan

    This is the greatest Canadian scandal covered by Gawker Media since the published nude photos of a then-underaged Justin Bieber!

  2. Ron

    To be honest, I am having more of a laugh at the Star's expense because of for all their bravado, they still have no solid proof other than heresay (regarding Ford's alleged crack cocaine addiction.) And given the Star's personal vendetta against the man and its multiple failed attempts to unseat him, I do not consider it outside the realm of possibility that they are lying.

  3. JohnStJames

    Sadly I Ron you may be right. This alarming story that the Mayor of Toronto is possibly a crackhead is being undermined by the Toronto Star. As has been mentioned, you could be forgiven for confusing Star journalists with members of the Inquisition. This straight up hatred makes it very easy to dismiss their claims as yet more ravings of a bunch of sore losers who are still angry that some bumpkin from the suburbs is mayor instead of their guy. In addition there are the various allegations of tabloid behaviour such as sneaking around his house and hiding in the bushes to see if he was really at his cottage instead of in Toronto where he "should have been" at the Gay Pride Parade (I may be misrembering the story).

  4. mograph

    What do you guys think now?

  5. @RicardoB

    The Toronto police don't want it for a homicide investigation…

    "Staff Insp. Greg McLane, head of the Toronto police homicide division, told the CP24 news station that the investigation was not related to a homicide but that his officers conducted the interview because they have expertise other police officers may not."

  6. TCGreen

    Okay, seriously J.J. I ususlly respect you even when I disagree but this entire thing is so stupid.

    Look up pictures of crack addicts online. Then look up pictures of Mr. Ford. Go ahead, I'll wait.

    Done? Do you see the difference?

    Just in case you don't, let me spell it out for you. He is WAY too fat and healthy to be a crack addict. Crack eliminates the apatite, increases metabolism and all but destroys the immune system.

    Not to mention everyone seems to be taking an online tabloid's word for it. And if tabloids have a reputation for anything it is honesty, right? And now, all of a sudden they've "lost contact" with the person that has the video? Yeah, this story seems totally legit. </sarcasm>

    I get the guy is a giant (literally and figuratively) buffoon, but maybe, just maybe, we should all demand to see some actual evidence before condemning the man? Especially before trying to tie him to a murder. Or is that whole "innocent until proven guilty" nonsense just something us quirky Americans have?

    This line is without question the worst: "It’s been suggested that one of Ford’s underworld associates was Anthony Smith, who was recently murdered in a gang shooting, and although details on this story are hazy and contradictory…"

    I suggest J.J. is secretly a liberal meth-head that is associated with the Chinese sex slave industry. Oh and he totally killed some guy by buying meth from some other guy or something.

    Seriously you guys! I can show you just as much evidence as the Gawker has! Honest!

  7. @RicardoB

    The Toronto Star isn't reputable? The released image is very surprising and hasn't been addressed even. And now there's reports that Ford acknowledges the veracity of the video and its location:

    "Crack addict" is probably an exaggeration at best but this has at last brought to light that the Ford family has had significant involvement in the drug trade:

    Certainly the Globe & Mail is reputable?

  8. RonT

    It actually has been adressed…

    First of all it was said from the Get-Go that said image is NOT from the video.

    Second, Ford likes to walk around and take pictures with everyone who asks for it. Half my Toronto Facebook friends posted a photo with him at one time or another. Is it that surprising that he took photos with people who live in the immediate vicinity of Ford's former Ward and current residential neighborhood?

    When you are a public figure that takes photos with thousands of pictures with random people every month is it that surprising when some of them end up becoming notorious for other, less savory reasons?

  9. Psudo

    TCGreen: What are the odds that a very heavy person would take up crack as a desperate weight loss strategy?

  10. SES

    "Mayor Ford has very obviously lost his moral authority to govern, and with staffers ditching ship left and right, he may soon lose his literal ability to govern, too."

    The mayor of Toronto barely governs anyways. For all the attention Rob Ford gets, he's not much more than one of 45 city council members.

  11. Crackycrackhead

    TCGreen, while it is true crack can suppress appetite that does not preclude someone who smokes crack from being fat. They can still eat, especially the if they have the means and will to do so. The reason crack addicts are generally thin is because they are poor and most of their money goes to crack.

  12. Ann Apolis

    I think you ignore the possibility that it's both a tragedy and a farce.

  13. @TheWhaler

    why does he have blood coming out of his nose he allegedly smoked crack, not snorted cocaine

  14. J.J. McCullough

    I just like the symbolism.

  15. Jake_Ackers

    I am more amazed that there is a huge city with a right wing Mayor more than anything. Furthermore, in addition to the use of crack, if he uses crack (which I believe is illegal) in Canada, is he an addict? Does he go to work high? Also the lying, if he in fact does use crack. If so then he has to resign.

    However, didn't a lot of Wall Street people back in the 80s do it? Some did fine, others went completely over the top. So I suppose it depends on the extent. Although to be honest, he is a politician and moreover an executive thus he shouldn't be using crack at all. Or any kind of drugs.

    Now I don't condone drug use but this should be part of a greater argument. Legalize it. Tax it. Regulate it. All things the government loves to do. Treat it like alcohol. You can't come to work drunk, so don't come in high. At least we wouldn't have money going to these kinds of people.

    At worst, make drugs only legal in the Canadian wilderness. What are they going to do? Fight a polar bear? If so, Darwinism at work there.

  16. @RicardoB

    You're thinking of cocaine snorting in the 80s by Wall Street. Use of a pipe is for inhaling freebase or crack cocaine, which is similar but stronger high than snorting cocaine and was associated with impoverished neighborhoods in the 80s.

  17. Golgot

    Legalizing crack? Seriously?

  18. tehskyman

    What i dont get is why rob ford has a nose bleed in this and the previous comic

  19. Ben Bullock

    I read "Robert Ford" and thought of this guy:

    South Carolina Senator Robert Ford (D-Charleston) recently resigned, after allegations that he spent campaign funds on personal things up to and including a trip to a sex shop that he claimed was for "novelty gifts for campaign staff." Be sure to check out some the of the ridiculous quotes as well.